Progression

M(Mark) and I continued to stay in touch and we would end up meeting up once a week. Once a week only because he got a job and became really busy. After I had it for the first time, my body wanted it more. Honestly I would nag him for sex, asking him when we would be able to meet up again. Especially having sex on my period. It was an amazing experience. All you really need is a towel to keep things under control. Anyways he didn't mind the attention. He was excited by the fact that I was so open in asking him for sex. I realized that I have always been very sensual and open to sexual desires. I started young so I knew how to satisfied myself and what would satisfied by body.

In between our meetings I started to hook up, as in doing everything but sex, with another boy. We will call him B(Bob). He is a white boy who at the time is 25. A few years older than Mark. Mark was in his early twenties. Bob really came out of no where and hooking up with him was unexpected but expected. Expected in that when I walked into his house I knew something was going to happen. It was very awkward but once it came down to it, it was more like human nature. When your attracted to someone things happen easier and to continue is easy.

After we hooked up he would avoid me like the plague. There was no reaching out trying to be friends. Even though I have talked to him about being friends and how we should stay in touch. Agreeing to something verbally is very different from agreeing to something and actually physically doing it. I knew I was not getting attached to Bob because Mark was the one that I felt strongly for. But then again Bob did have a place in my heart. The way he talked about himself made me in a sense sympathize with him. He told me how he used Craigslist for hook up and I was surprised for a few things. One being he was attractive and two I was surprised he had such a low self-esteem. I thought that he was able to get the ladies without much difficulty and then from his appearance I thought he felt good about himself. Not everything is as it seems I suppose.

B and I messed around a few times and he was the one that introduced me to something that I believe everyone should try and I stand behind this 100%. What I'm talking about is getting it from the back. No I'm not talking about Doggy style but rather up the butt. Now I'm not saying go all out and let him stick his penis right up in there. But I'm talking about baby steps! Start off small. For my it came to me as a surprise. We were making out and next thing I knew his finger was up my butt. I told him to stop but he told me to relax. In which I did and the feeling that I got from him doing that was amazing. There was just so much pleasure because that area is very sensitive.

Bob and I hooked up a few more times and once we did it in an office. Well it was more like a cubical. Looking back on this I must have been out of my mind because if I was to get caught I would have been kicked out and he probably would have been too. It was indeed very risky. Currently being in Europe me and B have actually talked. I wonder if hes changed much, you know become more confidant. I guess I will find out when I return. But shortly after I return he will be leaving and going back home.

Moving on to the next guy I had relations with. Me and Adam had sex twice. He fit the Asian stereotype but he was a very nice guy. He was very chill but having sex with him was just not satisfying at all. And every time he would text me I knew it was for sex and because of that I turned him down. I don't know if he got the point but he is very talented when it comes to being creative and photography. He also knew how to drive stick shift and I realized that I met him before when I was in high school at a track meet and I said to myself and my friends: "Oh, he is cute..." Funny how things change and I slept with him and actually got to know him in a sense.

Joel he was interesting. I mean they all are and maybe my diction is just limited. He was a tall built black male. Through time I realized I tend to be usually attracted to males who have a athletic physic. I mean who doesnt like a little abs or nice arms or the "V." If you don't know what the "V" is then let me take some time to explain. The "V" is the usually seen when a male's abdominal region tight and muscular and the "V" forms around their lower abs around the lower waist. You will know the "V" when you see it and it is delicious. Anyways Joel was tall and built and had a low voice. When we had sex he was not afraid to compliment me. It's nice and definitely a huge self-esteem boost when the guy who is pleasing also tells you how sexy you are, how hot you are and how beautiful you are. He was very let me please you which I did not mind. But I never truly felt comfortable with him. Especially after one incidence when the condom popped and I thought I was pregnant. When I told him he basically told me deuces your by yourself. So I got a test and it was negative. After that we obviously stop having sex. I come to realize that with him sex was a learning experience for the both of us. On the same note he didn't want to be my friend either. I hate losing friends. As I'm writing this I'm wondering how hes doing and if I'll see him when I get back. Hmm...maybe not. Moving on...

At this point after the whole pregnancy scare I had to do some soul searching and truly figure out what I wanted in life. I knew I like sex but I didnt like feeling I was being used for sex. So after confessing to some close friends and hearing what they have to say and listening to their advice I realized that I was going to stop having sex. It was going to be hard and a slow transition. Through what I was doing I had a checklist of the different races of males I would sleep with. I have every race except White and Brown/Indian and this remains true today. The reason why I saw its a slow transition because my mind was half on board while my body, well my pussy, was not on board at all. The progress to change did not happen until I met H.

But before we get to that story with Harry. There was Lewis.